Road Trip

The Middle of Nowhere

2008-08-06T20:38:00.003-04:00

I was making a delivery to the Summers/Scott cottage. I stopped at my parents' place first to make a delivery to them. My Mom suggested she come with me to the cottage. I could use her help and we'd enjoy the afternoon together.

We used her car. We were going to take the back roads to Sturgeon. It's faster (and more scenic) than taking the highway. The only problem was, neither of us could remember the name of the road where we'd need to make the first turn. We had the landmarks for the turn, but not the street name.

"No problem," she said. "We'll program the navigator." Her 300C has an in-dash navigation system. Once we'd programmed the address (not exactly the address, but a street near to the address, since the cottage's address doesn't exist), we set out.

Millie, her navigator's voice, instructed us to turn several times before the road we were looking for. It seemed like she was getting frustrated with having to recalculate. "You are off the specified route," we were told before Millie adjusted.

We came to The Glen Road and turned...even though Millie didn't want us to. Heading east on The Glen Road, Millie recalculated the trip several more times. She'd given up asking us to make U-turns to return to the specified route. Is it possible for a navigation system's voice to sound exasperated? I was waiting for a message like 'Get there yourself' to appear or for Millie to say 'To hell with you'.

Somewhere east of County Road #6 and about 5 kilometers west of #35, I looked at the navigator display screen. We were officially in the middle of nowhere. We're the arrow - and there's nothing around us. According to Millie, we weren't even on a road!

We made it there and back.
I've been to the middle of nowhere and it looked a lot like Cambray.

Cleveland IV

2008-07-18T13:20:00.012-04:00

It's that time again - another appointment at the Cleveland Clinic.

You didn't miss the post about trip #3 (it would have been titled Cleveland is Closed), an official version was never posted. Here's a recap: Michelle and I arrived in Cleveland at 9:00 p.m. We went to each of the restaurants along E. 89^th St. in search of food for Michelle. Despite the signs indicating the places were open, they were all closed. We asked at one place why they were closed when the posted operating hours showed they'd be open, and the security guard simply said, "We're closed". Michelle negotiated some yogurt at Subway and scrounged some soup at the hotel. Drove all that way only to find out that part of the city closes at 9:00. The appointment was uneventful and nothing unexpected happened. Drove home. The turnaround trip happened while Michelle and Lju were finalizing the purchase of their store and I was being held hostage by a virus. It was a tight time-frame since I was also leaving the next day with Jessica's hockey team for a tournament.
Didn't see that recap either? It's not there. The team brought home silver after the championship game went to shoot-outs. But the real highlight is that Lorraine and I went to Bingo and won!

Back to today.
It's the one-year follow-up visit. My traveling companion for this trip is my son, Andrew. Also on board is Kate, the voice of John's new portable navigator. It's not long before Kate and I have a disagreement. She wants me to get off the 190 in Buffalo and take surface roads to pick up I-90. I stick with my instincts and proceed along my usual route.

We enter the toll road in little traffic. Just us and the 18-wheelers cruising along. We pass a Caution, Deer Prancing on Hind Legs sign and 1/2 mile down the road, Bambi and her mother tentatively move from the woodsy median toward the westbound lanes. I slow the car to see what they're going to do. The doe takes a couple more steps toward the highway then prances back to the woods.

In Pennsylvania, we trade seats. We've muted Kate on the GPS navigator. We decide to let her keep track of our travel stats, but that's it for now. Unfortunately for Andrew, beginning at mile #3 and through to the Ohio state line, the Interstate is under construction - only one lane is open and the speed limit's reduced to 45 mph. We gas up at the edge of Ohio and switch seats for the final leg.

Kate agrees with my usual route to the hotel. Apparently Kate is holding a grudge over having been muted: she fails to tell us that all the roads around the hotel and hospital are being reconstructed - Euclid is closed completely to traffic; same with 93^rd; 89^th is torn up, but passable at very low speed.

After unpacking and checking in at home, we go looking for food. Based on the November experience, I know better than to venture anywhere but the lobby...where, at the restaurant, you can order food until 10:15 (it is 10:00 when we start looking), or order room service until 10:30. I guess nobody ever gets hungry late at night around these parts.

Andrew eats in the lounge and we catch a couple innings of the All-Star Game. He comments that it's not a very happening place. I explain that it's not a club - most of the guests at the hotel are here for the hospital services, not the party.

Next ...

It's The Best You've Looked

2008-07-18T13:19:00.023-04:00

I head to the Global Patient Center in the morning. Joachim processes my registration and finances, and Bernice is assigned as my concierge. Bernice remembers me from last June.
The Cleveland Clinic is building a new Heart Institute and rehabbing 2 other buildings. Getting from GPC to Section M proves to be a challenge - Bernice, a concierge for 6 years checks directions with a CCF Ambassador after circling the lobby with me in tow.

In the Metabolic Center things are running behind schedule. Really behind schedule. So delayed, in fact, that it's starting to feel a little like home. The clinic is conducting a time study right now. I receive a time card at check-in that indicates my appointment time and my arrival time. At 20 minute intervals, if I'm still waiting, the clerk stamps my time card again. I'm to turn in my card on my way out. My card's filling up.

Sometime after the ninety-minute mark, I'm taken to a clinic room. Dr. Chand comes in and asks, "Where is everyone?"
"What do you mean?" I reply.
"Your sisters, your husband, your parents. Did you make the trip alone?"
"No," I answer. "My son came with me. He chose to stay at the hotel this morning."
Chand's face displays alarm. "You left your son alone at the hotel?"
"It's not like he's a toddler; he's 18," I say.

Satisfied with that, he moves on to the business of the day. "You look great. This is the best I've seen you look," he begins. "You look really good. Do you feel as well as you look?"

I tell him that I've been hearing that a lot lately. Over the past few months, people have told me that I look well again. He interrogates the pacer and increases the voltage to 6.0 v . We'll keep it there for the next 9 months. Six volts isn't the ceiling, but the recommended adjustments after 6 v are in smaller increments.

I express my frustration with not being able to eat yet. I want to eat, but I can't tolerate it. "It's been a year," I say. "I need to move forward faster."

He shakes his head. "You thought you'd be able to eat by now? That's crazy. Your health and nutrition had been severely compromised for an extended period. It's going to take more time to recover." [I'm thinking Don't be logical with me]. He adds that even though I had a restricted diet pre-2003, I need to expect new restrictions as my tolerance for food improves this time around. "Something you couldn't tolerate before might be OK now; a food you used to tolerate, maybe not so much now. Keep trying, but don't push yourself too hard."

He explains that he typically looks for a 20% improvement in gastroparesis patients each year after GES surgery. [I'm thinking That's 5 years recovery]. Then he points out that my rate of improvement has already exceeded the norm. [Oh]

"The bottom line for today," he says, "is that you can't make it happen any faster; and you look great."

Next ...

Spotlight on Shopping

2008-07-18T13:18:00.025-04:00

On the elevator back to the Skyway Level the car stops at the 3^rd floor. The doors open and 2 officers from the Cleveland Clinic Police Force jump in. "Ma'am we've got an emergency, you need to leave the car," one says to me. I exit and move well out of the way. There's a lot of commotion here. Garbled voices bark instructions on the cops' walkie-talkies. The police want to take a patient to 1-S (I know 1-S is the O.R./Surgery Center), one staff wants to wait for the On-Call to show up, another is taking and recording vitals. Amid the beeping from the P.A. system, the walkie-talkies cutting in and out and phones ringing, three white-jacketed staff run from the ward to the front of the elevators. The space is filling up quickly. There's no stairway to be seen, so all I can do is stand against the wall and try to take up less space.

Another elevator car arrives and 2 more staff rush off. Two women then calmly disembark. One woman is holding flowers, the other has a large teddy bear. There's no space left here. The On-Call arrives and agrees they all need to go to surgery STAT. The patient, the On-Call, the police and someone else take my elevator (the doors had been held open the entire time). Most of the other staff get on the 2nd car. The remaining staff return to the ward. The two women provide ID and get permission to visit. Once all the elevator doors have closed, I step forward, push the down button and wait for another elevator to come.

Andrew and I pack up and head downtown. I've never actually checked out the city on other trips. Andrew doesn't want to see any of the museums or galleries. He wants to shop. We head to Tower City. After exploring 3 levels of stores (including the food court), Andrew adopts a new pair of shoes into his family of footwear (the kid's got some Summers in him, for sure), welcomes a new hat to the house and a hard-to-find CD.

We're leading the rush-hour crowd out of the city. I run into pump problems in Mentor, OH, which coupled with the freezer-issue at the hotel means no meds for the return trip. Andrew understands it might be a looong drive and doesn't even ask to drive through Pennsylvania.

DJ ScAndrew spins the radio dial. We listen to 5 seconds of every station the radio picks up. If we luck into something we want to hear, we stop the scan. As soon as the song is over ScAndrew starts the 5 second sampler again. After 25 minutes, we reconnect the MP3 player. We call on DJ ScAndrew at least once more before settling in the driveway at home.

We're just west of Erie when I spot the billboard...(this is a reproduction of the actual billboard). Having declined the matching tattoos at The Cleveland Shop in Tower City, we have to stop at the Stun Gun Factory Outlet.

The center aisles are filled with fireworks. Around the perimeter are cases filled with zillions of knives, daggers, swords and 5 models of stun guns to choose from. Cross bows, dart guns, blow guns, sickles, air rifles, nunchakus, razor blade stars and more are displayed on the slat-wall from floor to ceiling. I'm uncomfortable here at the Munition Supercenter. I've seen some of this merchandise in evidence bags on shows like Law & Order and 48 Hours.

Declarations regarding the use of stun guns surround the display :
"A charge for 1-2 seconds is like receiving a large shock. A charge for 2-5 seconds will cause temporary involuntary muscle spasms. A charge for more than 5 seconds will result in temporary paralysis."

"Can I get one?" Andrew jokes. "Not today," I answer.
"They're perfectly safe," Mike, the owner, says. "They're only really dangerous if a person has a pacemaker."
Since we're not Pennsylvania residents, we qualify to view the merchandise in the other warehouse. He explains that it's fireworks and stuff that's illegal to own in Pennsylvania, but as long as we use it outside the state, it's no problem.
We turn down the offer.
Thanks, Mike. We're done looking.

The Last 100 miles

Cleveland IV - The Final 100 Miles

2008-07-18T13:15:00.006-04:00

Andrew takes the wheel from Erie to Angola. He refuels and we push to the border. Along the way, Andrew rates the food over the past 24 hours:
1. Chipotle Chicken sandwich
2. Angus burger from the hotel
3. Spicy & Sweet Chicken Wrap
4. Popcorn
5. Arby's sandwiches
6. Four bowls of cereal

At least the Arby's is far down on the list. At the border, the customs officer doesn't scrutinize. He asks one question: When did you leave Canada?
No I.D. No declaration. Nothing.
Guess we could have shopped around Mike's second warehouse after all.

One last stop along the way so Andrew can get his cell phone from the trunk.
His thumbs have been twitching for an hour in anticipation of catching up on his text messages.

Judging by this pic, it must have been exhausting for him!

And we're home.

"Thanks for the trip, Mom," he says.

Thanks for the trip, son.

Game Day. Every Day. Five Years Running.

2007-11-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

Soon I'll have an update from Cleveland and one from Kingston for you to enjoy.

In the meantime, check out North Coast Hockey's
5 Year Anniversary Blockbuster Celebration.

I met Don Marinucci of NCH at his store in Erie, PA in February. North Coast Hockey offers a wide variety of quality equipment, accessories, NHL apparel and sports memorabilia.

"Just arrived are the new Vapor XXXX and Vapor XXV Composite Sticks, more 2007 NHL RBK EDGE Jerseys for youths and adults, NHL Licensed apparel and head-ware, player name and number t-shirts!"
Check out some of the Feature Deals!

Celebrate at NCH online with
FREE regular ground shipping to anywhere in the Continental USA and Canada.
No minimum purchase needed!

Register with nchockeynation.com and be eligible for exclusive NCHOCKEYNATION Team Member Benefits and Offers!

Does not apply to items already in layaway or special order. Does not apply to team orders.Promotional shipping charges and sale prices in effect until 11:59:59 PM EST Sunday, November 18, 2007.

"Dean Pepicello, Ray Kraus, Don Marinucci, Michelle Brown, Tracy Shallenberger, Eric Kauffman and Keith Kaval thank you for making North Coast Hockey the place to go for all your hockey needs!"

Congratulations Don and
North Coast Hockey.

NORTH COAST HOCKEY
837 West 38th Street
Erie, PA 16508

Medical Surveillance (Cleveland 2a)

2007-06-11T10:08:00.000-04:00

We're off.

A major collision forces us to take a detour en route to the Canada/U.S. border. It is an otherwise uneventful trip to the Customs Check. This time, there's no interrogation about the medical supplies on board. The Customs Officer only wants to see an official document from The Cleveland Clinic before he wishes me better health and allows us to pass.

We stop at the first available rest stop - coincidentally, home of the No Restroom Protest - not to protest its lack of lav, but to run some meds. A few hours along the Interstate, and we're at the exit.

I'm not a map person. I've been here before and have already resolved not to make the same right turn mistake from our earlier sojourn. John, on the other hand, he likes maps. When we get past that tricky right-turn, I sense that he may have a little more confidence in my system...until I miss a turn altogether.

With my system, we would go a few blocks more to confirm we weren't on the right street, then cut over on a different street, traverse back on another street, come to a corner where I would look for a landmark, point and say "There, that's it." John's clearly uncomfortable with that system. I suggest a full turn around and pull the landmark check during a red light.
I get my bearings, point, and presto! We're there.
With help from the staff, the car gets unloaded and registered. We check into the room and call Mom and Dad so they know we're in town.

We meet to review the itinerary for the next day and set a meeting time. We're ready.

Cleveland Part 2 stories continue here
Jump to Cleveland 2e (Final Chapter)

Master Evaluation (Cleveland 2b)

2007-06-11T10:07:00.000-04:00

At 9:30, our party of 4 takes the shuttle to the main campus. There are 37 buildings on the 140-acre campus. I wait for a landmark to identify our stop. I describe the entry of the building we're looking for. Here it is, KK. Verify with the driver. And we're in.

The International Center is as polished as ever. I draw the same consultant as before and she remembers the little mix-up from before. Information verified, we wait for the financial consultant.

In the Finance Coordinator's office, I introduce my Financial Advisor:Medical to Lucy. And it's like I'm 14 all over again. Lucy turns all her focus to Dad. They exchange cards and arrange their direct communication lines. "I'll just send it all to you, Joe, no need to bring Chris into it."

Hello? I'm in it. Here's the thing: I'm 40 years old. In September, my son will be a high school senior; my daughter, a junior. When will I be considered an adult?

John accepts the map from Bernice, our concièrge. My method of getting around is a little too dicey. He's concerned that I won't be with them to "recognize a piece of concrete and know to go left." Bernice escorts us to our first stop in the pre-op process.

Welcome to the paperless hospital. I complete the medical questionnaire online. We go to the next stage. Julie begins the online admission. The Resident does a physical and enters the data. My newest itinerary shows a psychological assessment...we all think this could be trouble!

Each member of the surgical team tries to cut and paste the info from one tab to the next. It's a lot of repetition. The team members are helpful and informed. Each patiently answers questions from all of us. Sydney, Teaching Team Leader, reviews the mechanics and engineering of the device.

Ace surgeon, Dr. Bipan Chand, describes the procedure in great detail. He is prepared to spend as much time with us as we need. We discuss protocols and follow up. He quickly dictates a letter to my specialists at home.

For a paperless health care site, I've collected several copies of my itinerary for the day, a binder of instructions, some promo material, papers of I-don't-know-what...and I still have a couple stops to make.

It's a lo-o-o-ong walk from M-building to A, the final destination. We review it all again with the anaesthetic consultant - meds, allergies, history. She understands the cross-contamination/airborne allergy concerns. We reach the fitness part of the questionnaire. I've been indoors too long, so when she asks "Can you walk 6 blocks easily?", I respond, "Is that uphill?".

She leaves the office with my paper chart to discuss whether I'm cleared for surgery. The image of a person, sitting in a darkened office with walls of dark-tint glass makes me laugh. I ask Jennie to sell my case well, and suggest that if this person could only meet me, he'd clear me in a jiffy!

In a short while, she comes back and pronounces me Cleared for Surgery. It's 2:45 p.m.

Cleveland 2a
Cleveland 2c
Cleveland 2d
Cleveland 2e

Operation Order (Cleveland 2c)

2007-06-11T10:06:00.000-04:00

At 6:00 a.m., we walk across the street to the Surgical Center. At the check-in, we verify patient information again. John is given a pager. As information about my case is available, he will be paged by the clerk. My code-name is jotted on a piece of paper and slipped across the desk.

The Cleveland Clinic performs an average of 250 surgeries each day. In order to keep families updated on the status of their loved ones, a large video display terminal hangs in the lounge.

For privacy, each patient is listed by code. My progress will be updated throughout the morning on the board. Jokes about Delayed, Cancelled, etc. appearing beside my code ensue.

The rest of the day's recap, courtesy of John's emails from that day:
8:06 a.m. - Chris is in surgery. It will take about 3 hours and then another 2 hrs. in PACU. We'll be able to see her for 10 mins. in the recovery room after that.

11:19 a.m. - Picture the arrival/departure board at the airport. The board now shows she has entered PACU though we haven't heard anything yet.

11:58 a.m. - Spoke to the doctor. Surgery went fine...The pacemaker is on and seems to be working fine. Probably another hour before we can see Chris.
Keeper, The Caring Canine, stopped to visit us. The hospital has a Chocolate Labrador Retriever that is walked through the waiting area, offering comfort to family members.

1:00 p.m. - We had our first 10 minute visit with Chris...She looks better than expected and is feeling pretty good overall. Once she's in her room, we will be able to stay with her longer. Looks like we can finally celebrate. Time to go have a beer!

At some point, we'd been told that 2 visitors would be allowed to see the patient in the Recovery Room. I pictured John, Mom and Dad playing Rock-Paper-Scissors in the waiting room. Luckily, they find Lloyd is willing to bend the rules a little. At the 9-minute mark, he shows up to escort them out.

I am moved into a room in M-building. At some point, the Nursing Aide comes in to present me with some swag. Cruel to receive a water pitcher and not be able to use it, don't-ch-ya' think?

Cleveland 2a
Cleveland 2b
Cleveland 2d
Cleveland 2e

Positive Wave? (Cleveland 2d)

2007-06-11T10:05:00.000-04:00

It is a terrible night. I do not have good symptom control. I'm miserable.

Knowing that I'm being discharged, I'm convinced that if I could just get out of the bed, clean up and dress in real-people clothes, I will feel better.

I jimmy the side-rails down, gather the various equipment on one side and devise a system for getting up. After a few modifications, I am up and moving. It takes a couple trips to drag stuff around to where I can access it. Ready to become human again, I realize that until I'm disconnected from some of the paraphernalia, there's really not much I can do. I put on some brand new sister socks...and nearly wipe out on the slick floor. The bag of swag included some slipper-socks, so I don those instead.

When the nurse comes with the meds, we discuss the discharge and she disconnects me from everything so I can get dressed.

John, Mom and Dad arrive. I'm really bad company. I haven't slept and I've done a lot since 6 a.m. Let me now apologize to Gladys and Ethel, the nice ladies from the church who stopped by to see me. "This is not a good time," I snapped at them. Ladies, I'm sorry for treating you so poorly. If they ever go online and Google their names, maybe they'll see it.

After some confusion, shortly past 1:00, I'm cleared to go. John works with Bernice to arrange transport back to the hotel. He's prepped the meds.

Back at the hotel, I return to my regular routine of med delivery and at 5:00, I call my parents to play some cards. They are surprised by the difference. I feel well enough to count trump. And my partner and I win at Pinochle. At least, that's my version.

Meds, TPN and a good night's sleep. That's what I need.

[Gladys]
[Ethel]

Cleveland 2a
Cleveland 2b
Cleveland 2c
Cleveland 2e

Return to Base (Cleveland 2e)

2007-06-11T10:04:00.000-04:00

I'm grateful that my husband and my parents still love me after I was so miserable most of yesterday.

At 6:00 a. m., I take an inventory and determine I feel pretty good. I work the numbers: if I take one med now, prep the other then infuse it an hour from now, I can supplement the first one at 9:30 and we can be on the road for 10:00 a.m.

John works with the gracious staff to clear the room and load the car. Dad befriends the police officers directing traffic on West 89th. Mom chats up the family waiting by the door. I'm tempted to ask the producer what he and his crew are doing, but decline, only because it's pretty tough to get up from the chair.

Smooth sailing all the way. John wins the first car game. We still need the Commissioner to rule on a play in the second game. I'm pleased that the $12.60 we've paid in Interstate tolls this year is working: parts of I-90 have been recently resurfaced. It is a comfortable drive.

Nothing unusual at the border. No funny stories from the Duty Free Store. It's good to be home.

Michelle has stepped in and handled the household like a superhero. She has directed the day's power-work but her staff have to leave early- one to a football game and the other to work. John tries to take the dog for a walk, but Buddy refuses to go unless I go too. His feelings are still hurt because his Auntie can't walk him either. Eventually, we trick him into going.

Michelle cuts off the 4 allergy hospital i.d. bracelets. Other hospitals in which I've been a patient just use one bracelet and write on it 'Multiple - see chart'. The Cleveland Clinic staff wrote each allergy individually: one bracelet for drug allergies, one for latex, and 2 for food.

When Andrew gets home, he greets me by a warm and loving, "What are you doing home?" At least he let me kiss him in front of Calvin, his teammate who drove him home from the game. I could tell Jess missed me, "Hey! Hi!" she said when she got home from work.

We sit down to the meal that Michelle has slaved to prepare. Michelle decided to have Andrew and Jess select dinner each night by its picture. I don't think she'd ever do meal-planning that way again.

It's hard to choose a movie to watch that evening. We want something funny, but not too funny because it hurts to laugh. We're not up to a thoughtful documentary; our brains are too tired to try a mock-umentary; not looking for a whack-'em-sock-'em-blow 'em upper either. Jessica feeds us Fever Pitch. I see a movie critic promises this movie is "A Grand Slam Comedy", but I know it's tame enough for us tonight.

I can't measure if I feel better or different at all. We're all hopeful because I responded so well with this treatment before, but I have to heal from the surgery first. I'll take it all one day at a time.

Back toThe Beginning of this trip

Destination: Cleveland

2007-04-19T20:51:00.000-04:00

This is less a road trip, more a mission. It has been several years since Roni and I embarked upon a Road Trip together. We used to travel lightly - a case of water, a case of ginger ale, a toothbrush and some pyjamas each. The last time Roni and I took a true road trip, we threw all that, plus some juice boxes, water and pop into a cooler, some sleeping bags into the back and all the Tootsie Rolls 6 kids could want. Now we've added a box of sterile medical supplies, and a cooler of medication. A Flometric pump. A telescopic pole on a 30" base. Roni's laptop so she can work and 14 bottles of pills between us. Times sure have changed.

We picked 'the best' line at Customs, crossing from Canada into the U.S. Well, it seemed like a good choice. Neither Roni, nor I believe in regret. My philosophy is that one must consider all the information that's available at the time and make the best decision he can. That said, I regret that I chose this lane.

First, I had to explain the pole. Then the pump. And the cooler of medications (all in original packaging with original labels from the pharmacy). "I guess you got all those needles and stuff, too, then?" he drawled, rummaging through the box of tubing and syringes. "I use a needle-less system," I explained, flashing the intravenous port embedded below my clavicle. The packages in the boxes look like "needles and stuff", but technically, they're not. He didn't seem to care about the distinction.

Since beginning a regimen of TPN nutrition and IV medication I have travelled between Canada and the U.S. on many occasions. Why, just last month, Michelle, our two brothers and I entered the U.S. at a different border crossing, with all my usual paraphernalia, without any difficulty at all...well, except having to explain different citizenship and last names even though we are siblings.

Finally, we were allowed to enter. It's a road trip. Let the games begin! A sign in western New York state proved we were in The Zone after we both interpreted it the same way and made the same joke about it. Soon after that, at the same time, we made the same jokes at the end of a story. We kill each other, we're so funny!

Roni related a story about an online chat she was participating in recently. As she told me what she 'said' she moved her fingers in the air above the dashboard, imitating typing. I asked her to stop since it was evoking a memory from high school typing class. We had the same teacher. Her name was Ms....Ms...Ms...B.....also taught phys. ed....Ms. B. Curses! How do I inevitably get sucked into the remember the name of the person who....on these trips?

Soon, we found ourselves crossing into Pennsylvania. Roni has history with Pennsylvania. She loves the state so much that she has difficulty leaving it. She gets lost in Pennsylvania...every time. On that last road trip we took; again last year, in Philadelphia; the year before that, with Lori.

She wanted to drive, but I told her I was fine. I wasn't going to take any chances. I had to get to Ohio. Eventually, we stopped for dinner. We ordered and went to get our drinks at the soda fountain. I filled my cup 2/3- full with Dr. Pepper then added a little 7-Up, then topped it off with some more Dr. Pepper. I can't remember the last time I did that.

"What's that called?" Roni asked. "Mud-something. Muddy-something. Dirty..." Curses, it's that damn game again. We walked to a table in the nearly-empty restaurant. Just as I turned toward our table, I spotted a boy of about 10-years old at another table. I was thinking of approaching him to ask what it's called when you mix a bunch of different soft drinks together and then, I had it. I opened my mouth, but I'd lost the word. Roni encouraged me to retrace my steps to try to remember.

"That never works," I told her. But I did it anyway. I made the turn, looked at the boy and blurted out,"Swamp-water."

In Cleveland, we arrived at the hotel and Lori was waiting for us. After we got the rooms set up, I looked at Roni and said "Burnham."
"That's it," she agreed. "Ms. Burnham." (I also pulled out Ron Griffin's name, previously only identified as the guy who drove the brown Chevette). Turned out that Lori wasn't getting our Smokey and the Bandit bit, which confirmed it was a full-out 'You-had-to-be-there'.

[Cleveland Clinic] [Smokey and the Bandit]

Mahogany and Mirrors

2007-04-19T20:50:00.000-04:00

The Cleveland Clinic is like a city inside Cleveland. The Cleveland Clinic Police headquarters are located across from our hotel. The hospital spans an area of 6 city blocks by 3 blocks. There are several sites under construction as the facility expands. To say the organization is impressive is an understatement.

A shuttle bus took us to the International Patient Center to check in and receive my itinerary. The lobby of the International Patient Access Center immediately bestows a feeling of trust and confidence upon the patient. The polished marble floor reflected our images. Mahogany-clad walls with mantles, mirrors and showcases interspersed, displayed various gifts from patients: Ming Vases, Fabergé eggs and the like. It was a little intimidating.

My Registration Agent started the process inside her spacious office. I was asked to verify the info: My name: check. Address: oops, that wasn't me. Birthdate: oops, again. Email address: mine. The Agent made the corrections to the info then introduced me to my Financial Agent. They had all the correct info on me in this office. Next, I met Marina, my Concièrge. She escorted us to the first appointment and arranged a driver for the following day.

The day before, Roni presented me with a gift of Kick-it-up-a-Notch socks. Regular readers know well the Summers' obsession with Kick-Ass footwear and accessories. Refer also to:Kicking II . I had chosen a kind of Pippi Longstocking look for the day.

Back in the hotel, after the set of investigations, I contacted my Patient Coordinator to clarify my schedule for the next day. I also had to return calls to some of the staff who'd been trying to reach me in Ontario over the past 4 hours.

The Cleveland Clinic: It's technologically advanced. It's a world leader. The Ambassadors in the hallways greet each passerby with a cheerful "Good morning" reminiscent of the Monty Python bit. The atmosphere exudes Excellence, with capital E. Behind the mahogany, under the Ming vases, after the Diplomat patient-base has gone home, it's just like other outfits: misplaced data and records, communication barriers and conflict from the blends of formal and informal groups. It's not smoke and mirrors, it's mahogany and mirrors. It's actually kind of comforting, you know?

Having our own driver is a nice touch,too.

[Cleveland Clinic] [Good Morning]

Mission: Reconn - Accomplished

2007-04-19T20:49:00.000-04:00

We loaded up the car before our driver arrived. After 36 hours, the remaining Swampwater got tossed out, along with the usual collection of half-finished drinks I always leave in my wake.

I passed Roni in the lobby again without recognizing her. Her hair is growing back. I was so used to seeing her with no hair, or wearing a toque or scarf, it's strange to see her sporting a crew cut.

We arrived at the M-entrance. Roni had apparently done some exploring while I was out of commission yesterday. She led the way to the Metabolic Institute.

After another diagnostic investigation, the surgeon declared me a suitable candidate to have a gastric pacemaker re-inserted. We left with a commitment to receive the treatment and care that I need.

I handed the keys to Roni for the drive home. I was in no shape to drive. The relief in the car was palpable. Here's some of my thoughts on that drive:

It was good that I had done so poorly on the clinical tests to qualify for the treatment;
I told you so, Ontario's Ministry of Health;
Must be the lime-green socks!

We called John to tell him the good news...and left a message. We called Michelle...and left a message. We called Mom and Dad, and Dad was home. Through Pennsylvania, I didn't dare fall asleep with Roni at the wheel. I didn't want to wake up in Altoona!

Roni trusted me to drive from the restaurant to the gas station. "I know you," she warned. "You won't get out of the car when you come back."
"I promise, promise, pinky-swear that I will let you drive after I gas up," I promised. The pinky-swear locked it, I think.

We talked with Lori, and Joe, who said at first that he was OK to talk, but during the call, admitted he was up in the air, and it would be better to talk later. Then Jay.

Across the border without incident and home. We were tired.
Now we wait while the surgeon writes up the treatment plan, the finance department costs it out then sends it to me.

There's light at the end of the tunnel...and it's not a train.

OWHA Provincials

2007-04-15T09:48:00.000-04:00

The OWHA Provincial Champions will be crowned at the end of this weekend. This Dolphins team finished among the top 15 teams in Ontario.

It's a significant achievement for our first-year team to advance to this round. Unfortunately, The Dolphins were eliminated in the second round by Woodstock.

Congratulations on a successful season!

At press time, Woodstock was playing in the Semi-Final game.

Championship Game

2007-03-31T00:58:00.000-04:00

Where else would we be on a Friday night, but at an arena? This time, the Midget Boys' Championship game featuring Gwartz Grubisa Orthodontics (Teal) against Hans Taal/Century 21 (Yellow).Technically, this isn't a road trip, either, but it's the same distance from our house as the Burlington match, so it works. Plus, it's the league championship!

This Midget division is always competitive. The teams are evenly matched. It's been like this since Peewee. Heading into the final week, 5 of the 9 teams were vying to advance to the championship game. In the end, Teal and Yellow won their games to get here.

Mike Savoie, in net for Teal, played an outstanding game. Mike made the saves look pretty routine. While he was down, he continued using his glove, his pads, his stick to rob Century 21 several times. And the puck that rolled through the crease just in front of the goal line helped, too.

At the other end, Jeff Burton was given a workout by Teal. Teal finally broke him in the second period and held the lead until midway through the third. That's when Yellow capitalized on a power play and tied it up.

Schlonies was going end to end and scored the team's first two goals. Marrelli was laid out by an open-ice hit from Reinders. MacGillivray was first to the puck in the offensive zone.
Opratko's sharp pass found Husar. Husar deked the whole team to take it in one-on-one against Burton. Burton saved then smothered the puck.

The officials did a good job to control the game. It was a fair blend of making the calls and letting them play; even though the scoresheet shows a total of 20 penalties.

The benches were complete contrasts. On one side, the coaches were barking instructions to the players continuously. The other bench was being led by the players and the coaches were watching the game smiling. It just goes to show that coaching intensity has nothing to do with making it to The Show.

Into overtime we go. Each team pressed in the overtime period. A wacky deflection on a shot by Sabatino and suddenly it was behind Michael in the net. The Yellow team was crowned champs.
Final score 4 - 3.

It was such a well-played game and both teams had worked so hard, we would have preferred to see it end on a more spectacular shot!

More pics from that game at:
MOHA Championship Game

Round 3 - North Metro Playoffs

2007-03-26T17:08:00.000-04:00

OK. It isn't truly a road trip...we played Burlington in this best-of-three-series. There are no set rules for what's a road trip and what's not, but I'm in Burlington 5 times a week. The team has built an online fanbase and they're asking for more.

A strong opening by The Dolphins in the first game, but not enough stamina this first game since Spring Break. In a classic case of the-score-does-not-reflect-the-game Burlington takes Game 1.

Round 3 v Burlington Game 1

Game 2 in Burlington:

Round 3 v Burlington Game 2

The Dolphins outplayed Burlington. We out-shot Burlington. We showed hustle and drive and teamwork. The girls just could not put the puck past the Barracuda goalie.
I won't go into several very controversial calls made by the referee - suffice to say that mild-mannered Dan tried and couldn't get tossed from the bench and the game.

Lorraine was careful to criticize the referee's performance and not the ref himself.

One linesman was engaging the fans, which is always a bad sign, and worse, he was commenting to the bench staff that he didn't agree with some of the calls the referee made.

This isn't sour grapes here. I'm known to say that the ref isn't the one who puts the puck into the net, but in this game, the ref did cost a goal.

Burlington wins the game and takes the series. They'll play in the North Metro Championship Weekend. We have a weekend without games.

All photographs courtesy of John Krieger

The Dolphins advance to the OWHA Provincial tournament after Scarborough fell to North York and Leaside.

Weekend Stats

2007-03-06T23:00:00.000-05:00

Best to read the games in the order they were played: 5-4-3-2-1.

Total Goals For: 12
Total Goals Against: 8

Distance travelled : 890 km (from home to rinks only, Fri-Mon)
# Radar Traps: 1
# Speeding Tickets: 0

Slide shows of some games have been added.

Five Times the Hockey

2007-03-02T23:05:00.000-05:00

Post-season play. It's a weekend of mixed feelings. It'd be great to advance on either the North Metro playoff side, or the Provincial Play-down side, but both? With one tournament still to go in the season, to move forward on both sides might be too much.

The Play-downs are a one-game round robin in a pool of 4 teams. Only the top team advances to the next round. In round two of the Playoffs, we're paired with Cobourg now - a team who finished first in their division and allowed only 12 goals through the regular season. Their first-place finish gave them a bye into the second round of the North Metros.

Leaside, who finished in second place, is in our provincial pool, will not figure in the weekend, as we played them last weekend and won that battle. Leaside is a talented team and a tough opponent. We like playing Leaside, because their team personality is a lot like our own. They play an intense game, and remember that it's a game. No trash-talking. No hits after the whistle. Games against them are good and clean and fair.

The weekend hockey extravaganza begins with a Provincial Play-down match against North York. We wound up tied for 3rd with North York in the regular season. They're a tough team, who finishes. They have a couple stars who can put the puck in the net.

It's the first game back for Rachel, who left the ice in game 2 of the North Metros, to seek medical attention for a possible forearm fracture. While it's not a fracture, it's still a deep bruise. At practice the other day, she was happy to lace up the skates and grab her stick, but couldn't hide her disappointment that her shot just wasn't what it used to be...yet.

She scores The Dolphins' first goal, high on the stick side, to tie the game. Later in the second period, Niamh pokes a rebound across the line, for the go-ahead goal.

In the third period, Liz ties up The Storm's center and Cat breaks loose from North York's defense. She puts one top-shelf for a short-handed goal and a little insurance.

Late in the third, on a power play, down by 2 goals, The Storm pull their goalie for a face-off in our end. It's a 6-on-3. Becca makes several saves, but we just can't clear the puck. With just over a minute to go in the first penalty, they score. The face-off moves to center-ice. Still no goalie in their net. Cat is in the box, called for interference on an earlier face off. Five-on-four.

North York wins the face off. They fire at our net, pick up the rebound and fire again. Becca continues to make the saves. We clear the puck to the boards. The winger passes to Niamh playing near our blue line. She picks up the puck, puts a move on The Storm's defense and carries the puck down the ice. Seconds to go. A North York player is pushing Niamh to the outside. She waits...then plays the sure thing into the empty net to lock it up.

Final score 4-2.

Tags: [Etobicoke Dolphins] [North York Girls Hockey] [OWHA]

Five Times - Four

2007-03-02T23:04:00.000-05:00

Twenty-four hours later, we're at Commander Arena in Scarborough for the final Playdown game, this time against Scarborough.

We played The Sharks twice in the regular season and won. Sometimes the final score doesn't really tell you what the games are like. Our games against Scarborough are like that. Scarborough is a team you can never take for granted. They were only eliminated by North York in the Playoffs in overtime, after forcing a third game in that series.

By the math, a win or tie puts our team into the next round of the Provincials. If we walk away without a point, we have to rely on Leaside and North York to beat Scarborough. The team wants to control its own fate. We want to win.

The Sharks come out strong and hungry for a win. They score early. Settling into the game, Niamh evens it up. Her goal, as described by Martin: She has the puck on her forehand and half the net is wide open. She moves it to her backhand and the goalie is sliding across into position. She swings it around to her forehand again and the net is covered. She flips the puck into the air and scores.

Our players control the play inside Scarborough's blue line and Jill pops in the go-ahead goal (assists to Laura and Julie).

We are down by 1 halfway through the third period. Out of a scramble in front of their net, the puck squirts loose and Cat buries the equalizer.

The players fight hard to go ahead. Emily skates it out from our corner. Her wrist-shot is gloved by the Shark goalie. Then there's a shot - wide. A shot - high. The pass out front - the winger's stick is all tied up. A shot from Mindy at the point - blocked before it could reach the net.

With just over a minute to go, down by one, Jessica skates to the bench and the extra attacker hits the ice. The Dolphins fought from behind throughout most of the game. This game was just a minute too short.

Final score Scarborough 4, Dolphins 3.

Photo Credit: John Krieger

Playdown v Scarborough

Tags: [Etobicoke Dolphins] [Scarborough Girls Hockey] [OWHA]

Five Times - Three

2007-03-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning finds us at Chris Tonks arena for the first game of the second round of the North Metro Playoffs against Cobourg.

The team will be without Cat for a while. She plays soccer on the U16 Provincial Soccer team and they are flying to Chile for some tournament action.

A lot of hockey still to go over the next 48 hours. Endurance will play a role.

Rachel's playing with gritty determination and a sore wrist. Kim is driving the net. Niamh is digging it hard out of the corners. Jill's ready for the pass out front. Natalie's pushing the puck deep. Kim F. is forcing Cobourg to turn over the puck in the neutral zone. Julie's no match along the boards. Liz is winning the face offs. Laura's keeping the pressure on the Cobourg goalie.

Mindy's taking shots from the point. Maddy's slap shot is finding the net. Danielle is first to the puck. Emily's defending Becca in net. Every shift is great. The players are driven. They don't seem to tire.

The game belongs to the goalkeepers. Both net-minders are making big saves. Look at this GIANT stick save by Becca. At the other end, Kim, behind the net, passes out front to Liz...Denied. Then with just over 2 minutes to go in the game, Rachel receives the puck from Liz and puts it in!

With just 2 losses on the season, falling behind isn't something this Cobourg squad is used to. They fail to score with the extra attacker on the ice.

Final score: 1-0. Etobicoke leads the best-of-3 series.

Tags: [Etobicoke Dolphins] [Cobourg Girls Hockey] [North Metro Girls Hockey]

Photo credit: John Krieger

Five Times - Two

2007-03-02T23:02:00.000-05:00

The series against Cobourg continues Sunday night, this time in Cobourg at Jack Hannen Arena.

Our players are focused. The talk in the dressing room is all about the game. They want to put Cobourg away tonight. It's do-or-die for the Cobourg team. A loss tonight means their season is over. Neither team is going to lie down.

Cobourg is a fast squad. Rarely will you find their players out of position. They execute the fundamentals with precision. I wouldn't stand in there with the Cobourg forwards bearing down.
Fans are treated to a repeat of the morning's game. Great work at both ends. The Dolphins are outshot by Cobourg, but still forcing the turnovers, taking chances and keeping pressure on the Cobourg goalie. Becca is rock-solid between the pipes.

The hometown fans are calling to the refs for a penalty again. Given the seating arrangement at this arena, I can't give them my over-the-shoulder "What, are you crazy?" look. They'll never understand how much they've been spared.

Funny though, the Cobourg fans complain about their home referees as much as they complained about the Toronto referees earlier. As the emotions in the home stands escalate, this loud fan gets a little quieter. When a Cobourg player has her knees in Liz's helmet, the home fans say that is just how the game is played. When a Cobourg player is on the bottom of a pile of bodies, they're calling for a penalty against our goalie! Perspective is everything.

Both teams are getting away with contact, interference, and some hooking is ignored. In that respect, the refereeing is balanced.

Just over 5 minutes to go in the game and the puck takes a bounce in front of Becca and slips into the net. Later, on a line change, the puck sneaks across the line.

Final score 2-0. Series tied.

Photo credit: John Krieger

Round 2 v Cobourg

Tags: [Etobicoke Dolphins] [Cobourg Girls Hockey] [OWHA]

Five Times - One

2007-03-02T23:01:00.000-05:00

Less than 24 hours later and The Dolphins have made the journey to Cobourg Memorial Arena. The Cougars, Cobourg's Jr. A team, call this place home. The 60-year old building is a local Heritage Site. The wooden floors are admired...they'll help the fans make some noise.

Stadium seating allows the fans to sit on opposite sides of the rink. One Dolphins player commented that it looked like half the town was out to cheer on the home team. Across the way, the 13 of us sat. Two residents of Clarington, Joe and Victoria, have literally become Dolphins fans overnight. Barb's in her usual spot at the corner. Hugh's behind the net. A couple parents sit at the windows in the lobby that overlook the ice surface. Kevin's missing from his usual post along the boards.

Tension is high as Cobourg wins the opening face-off and puts the puck deep into our end. The players break the puck out cleanly and dump it into Cobourg's end. A quick line change and the forwards are fore-checking and force the turnover. Shots are taken.
Tenacious Kim Selke gives the Dolphins the early lead midway through the first period. Rachel scores her third goal of this 5-game marathon and the Dolphins lead 2-0 at the end of the first. Shots on goal favor Etobicoke 10-4 after the first period.

In the second period, Cobourg gets themselves into penalty-trouble. The fans are proud of our players for not retaliating against the Cobourg players. It can't be easy to hold back.

We have a two-man advantage when Emily's shot from the point finds the top corner. Did it go straight to the corner or get redirected? There's no instant-replay cameras to refer to. Either way, the goal counts.

Cobourg's forcing their offense which allows our forwards to break away with the puck. Natalie, Laura, Jill, Niamh, Julie, Kim F, Liz....they all have some chances.
On defense, Danielle and Emily are using their long reach to poke check and break up plays. Maddy and Mindy are cutting off the paths of the charging Cobourg forwards and clearing the puck to the boards. In net, Becca is flawless.

In the third period, shorthanded, Julie receives the puck at our blue line and accelerates down the ice with it. She leaves one defenseman at our blue line and flies past the other. She has the puck on her forehand and is ready to release her shot when she is dragged down by a Cobourg player who has hustled back. The ref signals penalty for the trip then crosses his hands above his head to award a penalty-shot.

Julie's been working on a new move with her penalty shot at the end of most practices. It's silent inside the arena. We wait to see if she's got some Gordon Bombay triple deke in mind to beat the Cobourg goalie. Julie didn't put it away this time, but you can't beat that kind of excitement.

Adding some more insurance, Rachel scores again. The final minutes play out. The game ends. Final score 4-0. The Dolphins take the series! Congratulations players and coaches!

The team looks forward to a well-earned hiatus over Spring Break. Cross your fingers that the opponent in the third round is just a little closer to home.

Tags: [Etobicoke Dolphins] [North Metro Girls Hockey]

[The Mighty Ducks]

Game photographs: John Krieger

Erie, My Dear

2007-02-12T13:19:00.000-05:00

After an intense drive through wintry weather (ice, snow, white-outs) we arrived at the Avalon in Pennsylvania's third largest city, Erie. It was late, well early actually, and we had an early game to open the Sarah Backstrom Tournament.

The team breakfast was scheduled for 7:30 a.m. The itinerary supplied by Dan indicated the bus would leave for the arena at 8:30 a.m. Maddy knocked on our door at 8:25 to see why we missed the breakfast. Well, because we were still sleeping! Turned out the electrical outlet the alarm clock was using had an intermittent power supply problem.

Ready to go in 5 minutes, Jess was not the last one to board the bus - heavily teased, but not the last.

The tough and physical game against Pittsburgh didn't go our way. But we were in it the whole time. The players were caught off guard in the opening minutes: USA Hockey has not yet implemented the interference/hooking/holding rule changes. The players easily adjusted to the different style of the same game. Pittsburgh was a sharp team.

At "The Zoo", I held the door for Ed, who works the penalty box for Mercyhurst's women's hockey team. The women's team at Mercyhurst College is ranked #1 in the U.S. I learned a lot about Mercyhurst from Ed.

Ten hours off and we headed to the arena for game 2. This, against a team we play back home. Once again, we travelled great distance and played a team from next door. On the way to the arena, the players were complaining that their fans (us) are too quiet.

Never one to back away from a challenge, I promised to make a lot of noise in the stands. Before the game, I practiced with some thunder sticks. I sat behind the bench and pounded the glass, stomped my feet, whistled and carried on like a true fanatic. The other team's fans were frightened for my mental health. That one teen looked like he was frightened for his safety. Sure, they were pointing and laughing, but I wasn't letting it hold me back. (Think this was the first time somebody pointed and stared at me?)

There was no way the players would say we were too quiet. Lots of cheering, whistling, clapping, chanting. The metal floor and the bowl-style seating contributed a great echo effect. Oh yeah, the 12 of us were making quite a racket. Coach Mark subtly asked me to move from my seat immediately behind the players' bench. I had my choice of 9,976 other seats to make noise. I couldn't actually see the game from that spot, anyway.

We made some adjustments in the cheering section when the game escalated beyond the refs' control. Read Maximum Security

"It was the highlight of all the hockey games I've ever watched," said Madeline, Natalie's sister. And Madeline's watched a lot of minor hockey.

W-erie, My Dear

2007-02-12T13:18:00.000-05:00

Late the next morning, a busload headed out for some serious shopping. There was another 8 hours before the next game. Mark and I found North Coast Hockey for some player's skate tune-ups. The owner, Don Marinucci, has a monopoly on hockey equipment and supplies in Erie. His store is well-stocked and the service is exceptional. Don's a transplanted Canadian, from Niagara, and ships product to several regular customers in Canada.

There, we met a parent from Webster, NY whose daughter plays for the Cyclones. Another parent from his team drifted in with some skates that needed sharpening. They were entertained and shocked as Mark recounted our Friday night game.

Turned out the Cyclones drew the quarter-final game at the Igloo and played just ahead of us Saturday night. They lost 1-0. The parents we met at the skate counter considered staying for our game...since we were up against that GTA team from the night before!

Our bench would be without Rachel. The refs determined she needed a game off to reflect on Friday's events. Our opponents were without one skater and one bench staffer. The staffer hadn't done any reflection. If he had, he wouldn't have stood in the corner during the warm-up skate hitting the glass, yelling at the players and swearing like a trooper.

The behavior of some dolts associated with that team was despicable. The epitome of what's wrong with coaching a play to win attitude into a team. A parent from that team actually stood outside our dressing room taunting our players. I was embarrassed for them....and I had embarrassed myself the night before as The Fan From Hell...so that's saying something!

We're lucky that our coaching staff isn't like that. Mark told the girls to keep their heads in the game, not to retaliate and stay out of the box. He reminded them that we play tournaments for fun. Mark expects a well-played game from his players. On the bench, sometimes we hear him holler out "Boards" or "Back" or "Go to the net". He gets emotional, sure. One time, I even saw him take off his hat!

I wasn't up to being the #1 Fan tonight. I tried. I really did. I used the thunder sticks, I stomped my feet. I whistled and clapped. Partway through the third, I had to excuse myself. It wasn't the game, I just wasn't feeling well. And what happened next?

Liz took a check and an elbow to her head then went down hard. She stayed down. The paramedic assigned to the arena sprang to action. With our trainer, they braced her neck and she went off the ice on a stretcher...straight to the hospital. She'll be OK.

Shaken, the team finished the game and boarded the bus. We didn't advance to the semi's.

Pittsburgh went on to win the tournament. My reign as #1 Fan lasted just 24 hrs.

Guys- even Miss USA was given a second chance!

Kingston Cup

2006-11-21T11:30:00.000-05:00

According to Mapquest, it takes 3 hrs 15 mins to get to Kingston from here. We left home at 6:00 Thursday night and arrived in Limestone City, Friday at 2:30 p.m. Our non-stop trip included stops at Habitant Arena for a league game, a lay-over at Summers' End followed by the tournament opener in Napanee and then K-town.

Kathy called about 1/2 hr. before the first game to find out if the games were starting on-time. I had no idea: I was sitting in the car running meds. I'd seen people loading and unloading players and equipment, but hadn't a clue as to what was happening inside the building. Turned out they were running early, but we saw almost all of the game.

After lunch and checking in at the hotel, we made a run for Hot Tamales and JuJubes. Jessica entertained in her loft. The players roved downtown Kingston looking for a late dinner and returned before curfew.

Early game back in Napanee the next morning. Kathy was challenged by an obnoxious fan from the other team over a penalty. The father yelled at her,"Get your head out of your ass and go back to Toronto." Kathy asked me quietly, "Does this happen a lot in the stands?" She wanted to clarify with him that her head was atop her shoulders and that she lived nearby, thank you very much, but exercised restraint. Besides, we couldn't take him. The team did lunch then some shopping. Jess caught a ride to the restaurant and to the mall. I didn't mean to, but ended up falling asleep.

And awoke with the "what time is it?" panic. I had to get the equipment to the arena on time...and I didn't have a lot of time. But I made it. The players wore tutus, Groucho-glasses and hummed into kazoos. I do not like this much activity when I wake up, so I found a quiet corner. The Dolphins were beaten up by the team from Russell and suffered their first loss. The players hurt from the many physical injuries. Only 4 players felt strong enough to hit the cinema. No curfew required.

Cup Runneth Over

2006-11-21T11:29:00.000-05:00

Another game on Sunday morning. Funny things, tournaments:
1. They're not about what happens on the ice, and all about the off-ice events and
2. You travel half-way across the province to play the team from next-door.

Another intense game, but the girls had reached hockey saturation level.

Jessica and I went for lunch with Kathy, loaded up the car and headed west. The battery on my pump had died running meds prior to the morning game. That, coupled with a few days in a modified routine, and what else, maybe the alignment of the planets, made the drive seem interminable.

We approached the exit to Roni's house. It would be a shame to be so close and not see R,W,K and Z, so we stopped. We had only planned on a 20-30 minute side-trip, but it was lengthened because of our 3:00 family phone call.

Back on the road, we craved the diverse music selections available in the GTA. At the top of hills, we caught a station out of Syracuse, the valleys we picked up AT40. We discovered in Belleville that the MP3 adapter couldn't be repaired.

After dinner in Oshawa, we had spent time with 2/3 of our family on this day. Always nice, but we were ready to go home.

Early Bird Tournament -T minus 28 h

2006-10-01T23:26:00.000-04:00

This story begins before we'd even left:

Problem A: Early in the afternoon your vehicle unexpectedly requires repair. It will be on the hoist for 2-3 days. In 2 hours you are expected in another city to pick up players on the school's field hockey team. Two hours after that, your in-house goalie needs to be in Toronto. John, who is at the office, also has to get to a meeting that evening. Solve this in a way that each person gets to where he/she needs to be on time.

Problem B: The next morning is your turn to drive the student carpool to school. You have a med delivery and an appointment. John arranged earlier in the week to drive a co-worker to the office on this day. There is a field hockey game from 3:30 - 5:00, a social event for your other teen, another meeting for John to attend and you need to pack then get to a hockey tournament out of town. You still have one vehicle. Solve this in such a way as to minimize cancellations. Bonus: Feed the dog and walk him, too.

On the road - T + 100:
A little behind schedule, but it's under control. A driver in a Honda thinks that my 120 kmh on the connecting ramp (DVP to 401) is too slow and veers around us. He's at the top of the arc at 135 kmh, realizes he has too much speed, slides sideways to the concrete wall on his left and just misses it. Since he has over-corrected, he slides down to the wall on the inside, turns the wheels hard to avoid the crash, straightens it all by the end of the curve and merges onto the 401 without a scratch.

Summers End, a wonderful country retreat, will be our home for the next couple of days. We are used to placing floor lamps on top of tables to simulate an IV pole, and I have this 2-hanger-contraption I've developed that works well on wall sconces too. Ceiling hooks are the best, but rarely found. There are several tricks we've learned since tearing a curtain rod out of the wall at a hotel one trip. (Maintenance should've used anchors!). The ceiling hooks here are no good: the ceiling is 20-feet away, the IV tubing is only 30-inches! The lamps are far too delicate to handle the weight of the bag. I take a mirror off the wall, put the pump on the table and that seems to work, as long as I don't roll over! The original plan included bringing the IV pole, but had to be left behind as part of the solution to Problem B.

I have been awake for 40 hours and look forward to sleep. Set the alarm. Sleep.

Fall Classic

2006-10-01T22:00:00.000-04:00

Up early. Make coffee. Get the paper. Wake up Jessica. She makes herself some breakfast. One owner of Summers End comes downstairs and finds his morning routine disrupted considerably. Dad takes it pretty well...He usually makes the coffee, then he usually gets the paper. He's reading the paper as the large equipment bag rolls by. We are out of there before 8:00 a.m. Gramm and Bubba will see us at the game.

Etobicoke downs Brampton 2-1 in the opening game. The team heads to Summers End for brunch. We have a lot of time until the next game. The players are taken care of thanks to Laura, Barb and Lorraine and Mom. I'm running meds. Mark is inspecting the construction of the century-home. The team goes out to kill some more time. Later, while they're at dinner, I run some saline for hydration and meet them back at the arena. Etobicoke shuts out Vaughn in game 2 and racks up another shut-out against Aurora in game 3.

The team finishes first in their division and advances to the semi-finals. We never expected to make it to the semi-finals! There are several hours until the puck drops. The players want to see a movie. I had an allergic reaction at the arena and agree to sleep in the theater as their chaperone to Jackass Number 2. The girls agree that there will be no shenanigans, like forgetting to wake me up when the film is finished.

Etobicoke falls to the stronger Durham West 2-1 in the win-or-go-home semi-final contest. Nobody's disappointed with the showing at the tournament. It's a fun weekend for the team. There is a point when fans have mixed emotions: they cheer for the team to win, but would be happy to have it over, too. Tournaments are tests of endurance: long days, a lot of down-time for parents/fans, lots of hockey for the players and coaches.

We stay the night at Summers End. On Sunday, I consider heading to the Run in Kingston since I'm almost half-way there already. In the end I determine it will be too much. We head home.

Back to School - Belleville - There

2006-08-23T01:59:00.000-04:00

8:30 a.m. I see my family has been online through the night. 3:50 a.m.: Roni wants to redo her living room so that it'll be fresh to receive visitors after her surgery; she would like someone to weed her gardens, because they're getting overgrown; she wants to get a pedicure. Response from Joe at 4:15 a.m.: why is she online when she has this work that needs to be done? Joe is probably renovating his bathroom or building/fixing something with his Blackberry on his belt.

9:30 a.m. I call Roni, tell her I'm taking Kara shopping to get set for her freshman year at King's University College. Give me a list, give me your kid, I'll return her when its done. It'll be fun. It'll help.

12:30 p.m. I'm on the way. Idea: 'Hey, Ma. What are your plans today? How'd you like to spend 3 hours with your youngest daughter?" Quick side trip to pick her up. Back on the road.

We enjoy the drive. Mom tells me that if there's ever a time when I cannot laugh at myself, I can always laugh at my mother.

Arrive Belleville. Didn't look at the clock. I offer to do some work in the gardens (which don't look bad to me). I reach for this tall grassy thing, but apparently it is a plant. My theory is that avid gardening strikes at age 40; the same way homemade jam happens at 30. I still have a year of garden ignorance.

Leave Belleville.
7:00 p.m. Gramma wants to stop at a particular store to get started. I know the time because I called home. Spend a couple of hours looking at alarm clocks, throw pillows, accent rugs, stuff for the bed, small appliances. Get some dinner. Look for lost Medicalert bracelet. Take Mom home. Homeward bound for us.

Line of the night: Credit to Kara. "I don't know if I'm indecisive or not."
Casualty: Lost Medicalert bracelet.

Back to School - Around

2006-08-22T13:58:00.000-04:00

We're not heading out blind. I've received some great advice on where to go, items to get and even some comparison pricing.
Kara wants to buy herself an MP3 player. That's first. She wants one that is searchable and it must be easy to manipulate. Found it. Good deal. Moving on.

We're in Etobicoke. Stop here. Stop there. If we're quick we can stop here, but we'll have to be quick to make it back in time for an appt. I couldn't change. Celebrate success. I drop Kara off to get some lunch while I go to the doc. Meet back in 1/2 hr.

Andrew joins us for the next leg. I tell Kara that I haven't been back in this particular store since I had an allergic reaction in it. She laughs at how I keep track of stores and shopping. Allergic reaction to peanuts here, reacted to balloons there, all-natural tropical something-or-other in another place.

Shopping with me takes some getting used to: we never stop for ice cream. Each time we get back into the car, we hear a Rihanna song. Kara says all these places to shop are just a Rihanna song apart.

We mark success with a shout of "Scores!" Near-misses/ D-list possibilities I call hitting the post. Score a little more in the evening. Develop some strong Plan B alternatives.

In the morning Kara gets to sleep in because I have a dentist appointment, plus I get fitted for the knee brace, which buys her a few more z's. Freezer surprise for lunch and we're out again. We bravely face some disappointments, celebrate some large scores and fill out comment cards for Mina, the salesclerk who went the extra mile. We're not only finding the things Kara needs, but we're winning the parking spot wars too! We remind ourselves to keep it all in check; let's not jinx it.

Confident and with the list relatively small, Andrew suggests we knock off what's left and celebrate with a movie. We're scoring something every 11 minutes. Looks like our record's about to be interrupted, when a few quick successes come up and our record improves to 8-1/2 minutes! Got it. Got it. Got it.

Transfer the haul from the car to the living room. It looks like Christmas! Open the secret hatch and surprise ourselves with items we'd forgotten about altogether.

Catch the late show. Kara calls home. It takes an hour to update the list. One necessity left to get. One extra. And one item in-between.

Line of the day: Salesclerk: "Can I help you find something in particular?"
Me: "Yes. We're looking for an accent rug that will match this perfectly," holding up the pillow case from Kara's set.
Casualty: Part-time employee was fired at the front of the store during our sales transaction.

Off to School - Back

2006-08-22T13:56:00.000-04:00

The plan is to meet Wayne at my parent's to get Kara back home. Along the way, there are still a few places Kara and I want to get to. Definitely looking for that one 'must have' on the list. We arrange the day around hitting a shop in the city. Timing on a Friday will be important.

Success. And again. And a close-call. And then a success. That's a wrap. We want to leave on a high note. We're at the exit and I stopped to put my sweater on. The chocolate store that's right beside the entrance/exit has just finished a run of truffles and they're handing them out. I can tell there are nuts in the truffles. We leave in a hurry.

We find the place in Toronto, but it turns out it's not quite as advertised. Based on my sports descriptions, call this 'wide of the net' or 'fanned-on-the-shot'.

Kara's a good sport about it. We head east. I point out some landmarks. I'm still looking at store signs to find a substitute, but striking out. She tells me about some of the school trips she and others made into Toronto: food was great, hotel choices should be reconsidered for future trips. We make great time through the city, but when we reach the Pickering city line, all traffic stops. We sit a while, then I look for an alternate. I love to drive. I hate to sit. And I'm in brain-fog because of the nuts at Dixie.

North, nothing moving. South, nothing moving. Go over another mile. North, nothing; south nothing. Can't change it. We stop for a stretch, drink and some junk food in Ajax. (I did offer something nutritous, but that wasn't what Kara felt like). We hit Pickering at 4:00. We get to my parents at 5:30. Normally, a 30 minute drive. I am not good company.

Kara and I have come up with a bit where a frustrated and tired Aunt Chris grumpily goes into Gramma's house and complains that Kara is unbearable and whining. I carried off the frustrated and grumpy part easily, but I couldn't complain about my favorite Kara with a straight face. Gramma and Bubba didn't buy it.

We set up a display on the table and Kara walks them through everything. She tells them about Mina. Our inside jokes require too much explanation and, oddly, are not funny to others.

I do not feel well and bail before dinner is ready. Sorry I missed you, Wayne.

Summary Tuesday through Friday
One Tank of Gas: $45.
Night at the Movies: $30
Shopping with Kara: Priceless.

St. Clair Shores - There

2006-08-20T00:10:00.000-04:00

Michelle and I took a road trip to see Kimberley. A 24-hour excursion.

Michelle got to my place around 11:30 on Thursday morning. I was running my meds off the dining room light fixture. Once I finish, we're ready to go. I grab my knapsack and the care package I put together for Kimberley. That should be it, right? We'll be home tomorrow. What else do I need?

Well, there's a box full of supplies: a handful of tube sets, arm load of saline syringes, alcohol, cannulas (2 different kinds, lots of each), and a couple liters of hydration. There are bags of meds packed with ice packs in a thermal bag, the pump, hangers, and a blackout kit to keep it all going, just in case there's a battery or power problem.
Andrew packs the road trip staple (Tootsie Pops) into my purse. We rearrange the trunk to accomodate my extra gear. If there weren't 4 of us loading the car, I wonder how many trips from house to car this would take me. It seems everyone has an opinion about whether my bony butt is suited for travel. I do not think my backside is too bony and when I defend my derriere, everyone's a comedian, like they've been holding onto these lines forever just waiting for the chance to use them, you know?

We stop in Woodstock. Not because we want to, but because we have to: a truck had rolled over earlier in the day. We clear the area and get back to cruising speed. Michelle's car is comfortable enough. As we come to London, I remind Michelle that we only have a few exits before Hwy 402. And we stop. Everyone stops. It takes us an hour to clear the construction zone and get to the exit we want. We laugh at how incongruent it is to almost be crushed by a lasagna truck in the process. See, I was afraid you wouldn't find that funny, but if you loved lasagna yet couldn't eat it, and were crushed by a truck carrying lasagna...

The precarious pasta predicament reminds me of that box of Oh Henry bars I won. I relate the story to my sister, who laughs uncontrollably. She says it is another example of how life is cruel to Chris. She likes the account so much, she reaches into the backseat, grabs her day-planner and writes it down, so as to not forget it. Our family is generous with compassion, but we are a little short on sympathy, you know!

The Tootsie Pop is the running joke. Apparently, it is not so usual to have the pop and leave the Tootsie.

A 45-minute delay at the border and we're across. People are sometimes uptight at border crossings. Michelle travels a lot, but what's she thinking here:
Customs officer: "Are you bringing anything into the U.S.?"
Michelle: "We're going to see our cousin."
Customs official: "Huh? Go ahead."

We need to stop. Michelle is the scout. She checks out places to make sure there isn't a display of coconut cream pie or pecan tarts and that the place isn't decorated in balloons. I stretch my kneecap and walk around in the parking lot. The first place fails the inspection. The second place passes.

Back on the road, we roll out our first car-game: 'Name 5 things that...'. I discover that my sister easily recalls dead celebrities, but is, sorry, a little out of touch with pop culture and late night television.

We look for a grocery store close to Kimberley's to get stuff for dinner. Michelle won't let me go into the store, because we don't know the layout, and can't guarantee the safety. She worries too much. It's not like I shop by some special arrangement with the grocery stores at home. I drop her off and head back on Gratiot to get some coffee. I am not even embarassed to order Michelle's triple-milk coffee. It is unlikely I will use this drive thru again, but we all know that no self-respecting coffee drinker takes triple milk!

She recounts for me her exchange with the cashier...who carded her over the wine. Michelle admits the clerk was truly surprised to discover that she is over the age of 21.

Catching up. Listening. Perspective. Focus. Humor. Laughter. The light fixture in Kimberley's dining room is suitable for hanging IV's, too. Agree that we need a Cuz-in-Weekend - Spring 2007.

And Back

2006-08-20T00:09:00.001-04:00

In the morning, we walk around the marina and back. It's time to go. No trick questions at the border. I prime the IV at a park, test-hang it in a few different spots and find the visor is the jackpot. Back on the highway.

Cruising along. People who pass us stare. I mean stare. They turn their heads and keep watching. It's the hot red sports car, the IV hanging from the sunvisor or both.

Somewhere around Forest, I mention that Theresa Baird is a real estate agent in my area. We went to school with the Bairds. Our parents were friends. I was riding with Van Baird, speeding down Zion hill, when I fell off the bike I borrowed from Lisa. It was a pretty severe crash. I was unconcious. I don't even know how my parents got there. Zion hill is paved now, but still intimidating.

We name the Baird children: Van, Lisa, Theresa, Mike, Derek. Michelle insists there was one more boy in the family. Older. I don't remember him, but then again, if he was older than Derek Baird, he had to be at least 10 years older than me. It's not surprising that I don't remember him. Naming him is now an obsession. Michelle is certain his name started with 'D'. From London to Kitchener, we name every D-name we can think of. I mean every name. Dewar? That's not it either, but we know a Dewar. Michelle comes up with a lot more than me. My brain is very slow. I'm dehydrated. I've had some water, a little lemonade, a little lemonade mixed with water, some water mixed with lemonade. A collection of nearly-full bottles at my feet, other unfinished beverages have been unloaded as we go.

For no particular reason, I take Michelle into Waterloo via the scenic route. Several times, she thinks we're lost. I reassure her. I've never been to Shannon's place in Waterloo, but I can get us to WLU, and count on the driver from there. I'm back. My brain is working again. Two hours running the IV (1/2 liter of fluid) and there's a definite difference. Michelle notices it too.

While Michelle cuts the grass, I stroll around the neighborhood. Discovery! There's an art gallery right behind the house. It is incredible. The owner is closing up. I explain that we are from out of town and my sister is an artist and would die to see this place. That's her right there. I point out the window where, 30 feet away, she's mowing the lawn. The owner agrees to stay open for a few minutes. Michelle cuts the motor, hops the fence and goes in. There are some really breathtaking pieces here. Her eyes light up in the gallery. She and the owner discuss the Pino and that Michelle is studying at Michael John Angel Studio in Toronto, and so on. This is all above my head. Michelle is passionate about art. We thank the owner for staying late. We keep to the sidewalk and return to the house.

Michelle has this thing about cutting the lawn. She puts patterns in the grass. A different pattern each time she mows. I insist on cutting the front lawn. She watches. I divide the lawn by making a large X. I go to the center of the yard and cut a circle. Around about 5 times, then back to the X pattern. I stand on the porch when I'm finished and look. Very erratic. Perfect! I think Michelle will go back in a few days to "fix" it.

On the road again, we consider calling Mom to get the name of the oldest Baird (if he really existed). Batteries dead on both phones.

Take the scenic route home so we can check out the country mansions. At home we unload the car and Google the Bairds.
"There!" Michelle exclaims.
"Where?" I ask because I still don't see this irrefutable proof.
"Right there!" She points at the screen. "Stephen!"

The gallery: Double T Fine Arts. 76 Regina St. N., Waterloo (519) 746-1291.

Wipeout Hill on Zion Road